Hello?! Is this thing still on?!

8 07 2011

So, after nearly four years of calling it quits, this blog has found new life.

And so have I.

A lot has gone on in these last four years… And yet, some things remain constant like Polaris, the Northern Star (which contrary to popular myth is not the brightest star in the night sky). The Sharks still haven’t won a Stanley Cup Championship, I still have a major crush on Hermione Granger (Emma Watson), and Chinese Democracy is somehow still the worst Guns N’ Roses record.

But alas, I am not writing here once again to reclaim the past. In fact, I’m not even interested in the uncertain future (I know this for certain). Nay, I am Back in Black to share with you my very current (and very hot) trip to Vietnam. Join me and my borrowed Canon EOS 7D DSLR Camera as we take you on a most likely confusing photo blog tour of the motherland that I wasn’t born in. Oh, and here’s my big fat disclaimer: I have NO idea how to use a DSLR camera nor do I claim to have any artistic sense: Imagine someone throwing the keys to the Space Shuttle Endeavor at you and asking you to valet park it.

First things first, though: My camera needs a name. I’m feeling Steve, Larry, or Carrie. Throw some names at me.



The 213 Things Skippy Is No Longer Allowed To Do In The U.S. Army

17 07 2007

Taken from Skippy’s blog:

The Skippy List

Explanations of these events:

a) I did myself, and either got in trouble or commended. (I had a Major shake my hand for the piss bottle thing, for instance.)
b) I witnessed another soldier do it. (Like the Sergeant we had, that basically went insane, and crucified some dead mice.)
c) Was spontaneously informed I was not allowed to do. (Like start a porn studio.)
d) Was the result of a clarification of the above. (“What about especially patriotic porn?”)
e) I was just minding my own business, when something happened. (“Schwarz…what is *that*?” said the Sgt, as he pointed to the back of my car? “Um….a rubber sheep…I can explain why that’s there….”)

To explain how I’ve stayed out of jail/alive/not beaten up too badly….. I’m funny, so they let me live.

A couple of my personal favorites:

33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.

34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.

The 213 Things….

101 Ways To Know Your Software Project Is Doomed

17 07 2007

Taken from the blog:

6. Your source code control system is a series of folders on a shared drive

23. Every bug is prioritized as Critical

40. The company motto is ‘Do more with less’

41. The phrase ‘It works on my machine’ is heard more than once a day

72. The deadline has been renamed a ‘milestone’…just like the last ‘milestone’

84. All performance issues are resolved by getting larger machines

And of course the obligatory (and applicable):

101. “Oh, oh, and I almost forgot. Ahh, I’m also gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday, too… thanks”

I swear this guy must be working at the same place I am… He’s probably just a cube over…

Click here to read the whole list…

I’m Catholic and work at a church…

11 05 2007

…but I think this is absolutely hillarious.

Tis the Season

ARGH… I Just Need to Pee…

23 04 2007

This is a lawsuit waiting to happen…

Or, a really good opportunity to claim ignorance 🙂
ARGH…I just need to pee…

Dude, I told you…

19 04 2007

Dude, I told you.

Oh Calvin, How I Miss Thee…

30 03 2007

Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes Fame) on Scientific Law

Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes fame) on Scientific Law